rehab

Rehab is all the rage these days for celebrities who can't seem to keep thier pants on or walk past a bottle of expired prescription drugs without drinking them down with vodka. I am dedicated to my attempt to reduce the amount of clutter in my life and go retail free for an entire year but I must admit that I have slipped up. I have been tempted and I have cheated. Therefore, I will be voluntarily committing myself to a secure facility next week so that I can work with professionals that will cure me. I am sorry to have let my 2 followers down. I hope that after my stay in rehab I can be forgiven and return to my old life. I will hold a press conference when I come home and I am making a commercial with my sad face staring into the camera with my dad's voice in the background saying "Jannine, I am so disappointed in you. You did not need that faux ceramic flower pot."
So readers let me tell you about my cheating...coming clean is the first step in admitting that you have a problem so here goes. I went to Dress Barn a few weeks ago. I bought 2 shirts and a fabulous dress (although it hugs a bit tight across the top and lord knows I didn't need any extra emphasis there). I went to Macy's and got two new bras. I also bought new curtains for the dining room and the aforementioned faux ceramic flower pot. Here are the justifications: I was receiving an award and needed something nice to wear. Since I have put on "quite a bit of weight" (yes-somebody said that to me on Christmas Eve this year) I went to Dress Barn which is the place that fashion design students sell clothing from their Polyester 101 class. I had to get the new bras because 46 is the age where my boobs have decided to spend their winters in Florida and have begun heading south. I bought the new curtains for the dining room because it got warm out for a few days and that made me think of summer and how nice it would be to have billowing curtains. I bought the new flower pot because I was at Michael's craft store to buy plastic storage boxes for my classroom and then I passed by the clearance bin and it said "everything is going lower" and I thought about my boobs and got sad. So I figured that if I create an "English Country Garden" look in my living room then I can just spend the summer pretending that I am a dowdy British poet sitting with her corset on and watching the curtains blow out over the moors. I forgot to say that I also bought new switch plates for the dining room too. They complete the room, they really do, I know that Heathcliff would agree.
I haven't gotten rid of much lately either. I composted an orchid plant that I had let die by accident, and I threw out some expired mustard jars from last years St. Patricks day dinner. I am going to get back on track though. I promise. When I come home from my rehab stint I am going to give away cds that I don't listen to anymore, I am going to donate those size 8 pants to a real size 8 woman (I am a size 8 for about five minutes after a really bad stomach flu) and I am going to stay out of the stores!! If I can't do it on my own I know that I can call my sponsor to help me. I have asked Elin Woods to follow me around with a couple of nine irons just in case I try to go to Target.